Shame and Judgement

Close your eyes. Now imagine a world where your weight determines your success. If you're too skinny or too fat, your chances of happiness are low. Not only that- you also receive the blame for not being the perfect weight. People won't describe you as "Joe" or "Sarah," they'll say you're "that fat guy Joe," or "that skinny bitch Sarah." Now open your eyes.

There's two notable things about this scenario. First, you must have read with your eyes closed. That's pretty cool. Secondly, while it's not something many of us would like to admit, this scenario reflects reality. Yes, it does sounds extreme, but allow me to explain why I believe that our society has gone to this extent in "fat shaming," how it has gotten to this point, and why this societal perspective breeds harm.

In high school, I had a group of five friends who were all very close to me. I loved them; however, they often said stuff that didn't quite sit right with me. For example, there was a girl in our school whom they despised, and she happened to be overweight. They'd often say, "stop being so fat" when talking about her (not to her face of course). There are many things wrong with saying this statement, so I'll isolate a few. First, it assumes that being fat is "wrong." Second, it suggests that she could be skinny if she wanted to be. Finally, and the worst of all, it implies that they themselves have developed the work ethic to control their weight regardless of what their basal metabolic rate was. 

Let me clarify that last statement: someone's basal metabolic rate is the amount of calories they burn per day at rest. We are all born with a different basal metabolic rate due to genetics. This means that for some, staying at a healthy weight doesn't require any effort. For others, staying at a healthy weight requires a good deal of hard work. Unfortunately, many people don't understand this, and they assume that an overweight person has become overweight because they're lazy. This perpetuates the subconscious guilt that many overweight people feel. Assuming that laziness is the cause of obesity, as my friends did with their comment, largely oversimplifies the issue.

To reconcile the common oversimplification of this issue, we as a society need to reinforce several concepts: 1) No one should feel guilty for being overweight. 2) Someone's basal metabolic rate often determines how much work is required to stay at a healthy weight, and thus 3) No one should be judged for their weight. Just as is the case if you observe a cigarette smoker on the street; if you don't know the person, you cannot judge their situation. You have no idea how they've gotten to that point in life. It could be a variety of factors, many of which could be out of their control. 

Of course, I'm not suggesting that society should encourage being overweight or underweight. We must educate our children on the best ways to live a healthy lifestyle, the best choices for living a long life, and the methods to sustain those lifestyles. Still, we need to also teach that when a child's circumstances prohibit them from executing those methods of living a healthy lifestyle, they should not be labeled as "lazy," "worthless," or viewed in any negative light. We must educate people on the complexity of this whole issue, and how thus making quick judgments is inappropriate. Stop fat-shaming!